pirates and haiku

in case you missed the big day last year, tomorrow (september 19) is national talk like a pirate day (viewer discretion advised on the site). good thing i'm not leading worship at church...a morning of pirate praise!

anyhoo, a couple of careers ago, i went through a one week period of communicating e-mails in haiku. just cuz. try it - especially fun for business-oriented e-mails. if you're not familiar with haiku, i googled haiku and the first site is haiku for people. as opposed to what?? haiku for dogs??? which reminds me of an old haiku someone once e-mailed me...

Dog Haiku

I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel.

I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be

Today I sniffed
Many dog butts-I celebrate
By kissing your face.

I sound the alarm!
Paperboy-come to kill us all-
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Mailman Fiend-come to kill us all-
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Meter reader-come to kill all-
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Garbage man-come to kill us all-
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Neighbor's cat-come to kill us all!
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I lift my leg and
Wiz on each bush.
Hello, Spot - Sniff this and weep

How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle

I hate my choke chain -
Look, world, they strangle me!
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot - no greater bliss - well,
Maybe catching cats

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much I do

The cat is not all
Bad-she fills the litter box
With Tootsie Rolls

Dig under fence-why?
Because it's there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.

You may call them fleas,
But they are far more -I call
Them a vocation

My owners' mood is
Romantic-I lie near their
Feet. I snore loudly.

i googled dog haiku and found that it was written by a guy named Steve D. Marsh. he's apparently written a book of dog haiku: Dog Daze: Haiku Channeled From Two Mixed Breeds, Zac and E.D., 2000

now i wonder if anyone can write dog haiku in pirate talk. hmmm...